Where's the Helpmeet?

I have something to vent about and it's not a politically correct topic. Sorry, but too bad. :-) Actually, it's something I've been mulling over and I'm going to write about it and if it offends you, I truly am sorry. But, I'm still going to talk about it because this is a blog about me and my family and what's going on with us. If you disagree, that's ok, and you're welcome to leave your comments, but it's not a discussion or battle or anything else. Just my feelings.

Nicky has this friend, let's say his name is Pete. That's not his real name, just to be clear, since Nicky doesn't have any friends named Pete. So, here's Pete. He's a bachelor in his early 50's. He's a bit.....oh, let's say eccentric. Yes, that's it, eccentric. The guy's got a heart of gold, but he's a little nutty. Well, actually, most of Nicky's friends are bachelors in their 50's who are a little nutty, but what can I say. Ok, moving on. So, Pete lives in an appt. and he's a crane operator and, as in all construction trades, is sometimes out of work. Currently he is 2 months behind in his appt. rent and is dealing with an unhappy landlord. (No kidding!! lol) Since he can't seem to find a steady job, just little ones here and there, he's decided to move out of town to live with his elderly mom. This is good since none of his siblings live near her and she's elderly and could use him around for help and company. So, he's trying to move all his stuff (remember he's quite eccentric), which is a LOT of things he's collected over many years and just kept collecting and storing in his appt. Get the picture? Now, most of us could go in there and get the whole thing done in a week or two, but not Pete. His eccentricity causes him to move at a snail's pace contemplating the fate of each and every piece of everything he has. Pack? Give away? Throw away? Sell? Dump? Etc. Hmmm, who could use this? It's still good. It has most of the pieces. Let's see, hmmmm. and on and on ad nauseum. So, it's taken Pete approx. 6 weeks thus far to go through his one bedroom appt. and according to him, he still has 2 more weeks to go. (Nicky says he could finish it in a day, if he wanted to.)

Anyway, the other day, the landlord called to verify that he would be out by the end of the month. Pete told him that he would need another week, since the end of the month was a holiday weekend and no one would be available to help him with moving. The landlord promptly hung up and within two hours produced a 3 day eviction notice at Pete's door. Now, Pete, being the dramatic person he is, seeing tragedy around every bend, panics and comes to my house to vent to Nicky. Unfortunately, Nicky wasn't home from work yet, so I got to listen to him vent. He ranted and raved and nearly cried saying over and over, "I just don't know what to do." I tried to give some ideas, but he would have none of it. He just kept thinking of why it wouldn't work. I think he was just frustrated and feeling very alone. As I stood there, I just thought to myself, "Now, if this was Nicky's situation, what would I do to help him?" I thought of several things I would do, like (1) find an attorney on the Internet for him (He thinks the guy can't legally give him a 3 day notice like that, which is true, but how do you know for sure until you speak to an attorney?), (2) figure out how to pack faster, (3) comfort and encourage him, (4) enlist friends to help, (5) figure out when to get a moving truck, how much it would cost, how long we would need it, and etc. BUT, poor Pete doesn't have a helpmeet to do these things for him or to even be in the boat with him.

It got me to thinking how well I have adapted to being a helpmeet to Nicky and how so few women would even deign to think of themselves in that capacity. If Pete was married, would his wife be supportive and encouraging and try to help him? Or would she criticize him for getting them into this and he can darn well get himself out? Would she roll up her shirt sleeves and get to work or would she sit back and let him wallow in the trouble until he "learned his lesson" and felt sufficiently belittled? It made me really see how sad Pete's situation really is, not so much about the eviction or move or no work or anything like that, because that's all fixable, but his loneliness and how he's having to do it alone. It made me really see how today's women's state of mind is and how sad that must make God feel. It must break His heart when he sees a man who really needs a helpmeet struggle when he's got a woman right there who refuses to take her role. It made me very sad and I can't get that off my mind. It made me see how true the verse is that says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22)

Now, just to brag on Nicky for a minute, can you believe that Pete actually rented the moving truck for next weekend? Labor Day weekend? OPENING DAY for HUNTING SEASON? And, Nicky's GOING to help Pete move??? If you know Nicky, you know that's a HUGE sacrifice for him. I'm not sure he'd give opening day/weekend up for ME!!! lol When he told me that I almost fainted, then I was kinda ticked at Pete, then I asked if it was only for a day, and he answered that it would probably be all weekend. He's so sweet and such a good friend. I'm sorry for Pete and I'm sorry for all the men who are not married and don't have the support of a helpmeet/wife. I'm more sorry for the men who are married and don't have the support of a helpmeet/wife. But, I'm most sorry for the wives who choose not to embrace their helpmeet position, thinking it's beneath them (or whatever other reason they have), because they will never know the joy of supporting their life's partner. It is such a blessing and honor to be able to do that and give that to the person you love most.

One of my favorite love songs is "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. The chorus says this:
I'll be your crying shoulder.
I'll be love's suicide.
I'll be better when I'm older.
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
I just love that! I know the "love's suicide" sounds awful, but think about it. That's exactly what we do (or should do) everyday. We die to ourselves for those we love. Right? For God, husband, children, etc. I also love the part about being better when I'm older. It's sooo true. I look back in our early married years and see so much pain we caused each other and grieve for the lost time. And, we both truly are better now that we're older....and getting better, if you ask me!! And, what better helpmeet is there than to be your husband's greatest fan?? I'm not sure the singer or writer really understood the depth of the words, esp. when seen through the eyes of Christ, but it's a great song.

Ok, so sorry this post is so long, but I needed to vent. In the next day or two I'll try to post about the golf lesson. It was really cool. And, yes, Mom, I'll post pictures!! Talk to you again soon! Blessings.