Marriage....

Learning to Enjoy the Differences!

So Mandy, over at From the Trenches of Motherhood is doing the carnival at her place about this very topic. Sounds fun, huh?

Now even though Nicky and I have been married for 19+ years, and we get along very well and we've pretty much adjusted to our "differences", there still are a few. And, I think one advantage to being married longer is that you come to appreciate the differences, where they used to just annoy you. At least, that's happened to me.

Difference 1: Nicky is verrrry laid back....way more than me. I am usually "uptight" about things. Not worried, but definitely more rash and intense. In the beginning I loved that he was so laid back, as my own dad was more like me (hey, I got it from somewhere! lol), always busy. After a fairly short time, it began to annoy me that he was so "lazy" about stuff. A few short years later, I realized he wasn't lazy at all, at least no more than me, but he just viewed things differently. His priorities were different. Over the years, we have balanced each other by him helping me relax a little and me helping him get a little more motivated. So, overall, it's great.

Difference 2: He has the gift of mercy, which I definitely do not, and I have the gift of compassion, which he does not. It took me a long time to realize the difference of the two. It used to make me so angry when he would help "friends" who would in return be "unavailable" to help him when he needed it. Then, later he would again come at their call for help. This is me: "Why do you let them take advantage of you?? Why do you keep going back and giving them another chance to use/hurt you??" Until one day I made a mistake at something and he was a little angry and the whole day went by with me in misery thinking what a bad mood he'd be in when he came home because of me. I fretted all day for nothing, because when he came home in a fine mood and asked me what was wrong, I burst out in tears from my pent-up anxiety. He just hugged me. I realized then that even I needed/appreciated Nicky's gift of mercy. Now, if we see a homeless person, I want to give them food and Nicky says they need to get a job. That's compassion. He doesn't have that one. But, thankfully we balance each other out on that one because children require both and it's been a benefit to our kids to have us both with different gifts.

Difference 3: I'm the social butterfly and he's more of a stay-at-home guy. Again, we balance each other.

Isn't it amazing how God can match people together perfectly?? I love how we are so set in our ways in the beginning and over time become a little less like "me" and more like "we". We move from two separate people to truly "one flesh" and one person, with complementing gifts and talents to contribute to the unit. What a great architect God is!

Well, I know there's bunches more differences, but these are some of the main ones. Hope you've enjoyed this insight into my marriage. Now lets see yours and how you celebrate your differences! :-)